'Learning to value the free things in life'

When we are bogged down with worries and troubles, we should remind ourselves of the 'valuable' but free things in life that we usually tend to overlook. How many of you ever came across a beautiful smile with a 'hello' to brighten up your messy day? How many of you offered help to someone and felt good about 'giving' rather than concentrating on 'taking'? How many of you looked at the beautiful sky or at a little bird chirping, and suddenly felt good about life?

At this stage of life I get surprised when somebody says that an email I wrote years ago when he was leaving a job and starting all over, made a big difference for him; or somebody was boosted up with just a smile; or somebody still misses my classes, somebody names his daughter Tahsina and so on . . .

I ask myself what are the things that I'M grateful about? A long chat with a friend staying far away or near who is supportive of my decisions, a 'miss you' phone call from an ex student, Abbu who still cares enough to get worried if I don't have the help of the maid and have to run things alone, an emotional text, help or nicety from strangers and so on...

The most precious gift of life is my little girl. A caress from her, a 'burum' on my tummy, a 'mumu' on my cheek, a response 'I love you choto' to my 'I love you big', a triumphant smile on her face when she beats me in UNO, a silly giggle or just a hearty laugh when we are doing something together . . .

 Mummum & Tomtom

These are the things that instill courage in me, these are the things that keep me moving, these are the things that let me love life more.

I have become stronger with days. I remember the first time I went on air after Ammu had passed away in 2005. There were tears in my eyes and I thought I couldn't make it. Because Ammu used to watch all my news and was the greatest critic. The feeling of vacuum was too much to bear. But as you all know life goes on. We move on. Got blows after blows in life but I survived. But even in the midst of all this struggle I got help from very special people around me. I am thankful of the wonderful blessings.

Life's good! :)

Dealing a tantrum

The morning started with a 'little' temper tantrum. Got her sleeves wet after rebelliously washing hands by herself. (the phase when toddlers want independence, so "nije nije hat dhubo I'll wash hands by myself") 

When it was a matter of changing into something dry, she wanted to stick to the old one. And there you go! Half an hour of wailing and chanting "vijata porbo I'll wear the soaked one" while standing half naked! Who wants this emotionally charged weekend after working your ass off for the whole week? Especially after staying up at night attending the sick kiddo?

Tantrum Tantrum!

Within half an hour she fell asleep. Lying on my chest in a kangaroo-care position, her feverish forehead on my cheek, my nose smelling her ruffled hair, my arms around her, my lips occasionally kissing her. . . I FEEL THIS IS LIFE!

Originally posted as Facebook note on  February 10, 2012

A proud mother

“All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.” 

― Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

My little girl Parisa (3 year 4 month old) showed a sign of being empathetic to our maid who looks after her when I am away at work. Yesterday when it was her afternoon nap time, Reshma took her in her lap and started the sleeping routine of rocking Parisa. But it was painful for her as she had a sore boil just beneath her knees. Parisa could understand that and said, 'You don't have to rock me today, I'll lie down and fall asleep by myself.' And she just did that!

Parisa and Reshma playing on the rooftop

This little incident made me truly proud of my child. When I was carrying her, I prayed this one constant prayer that she should be a good human being. I understand it's too early to say that she'd be one such person when she grows up and there are hundreds of other examples when she appears self-centered - by not sharing a toy or by shrieking at the top of her voice demanding something. However, this small act of thoughtfulness and kindness means a lot to me, and I praised her a lot for doing that and mentioned this to others already in front of her. She should feel that her empathetic act is being praised and encouraged, and the act is not an end to itself rather the good feeling stays.

Reshma asked Parisa to show her facial expression when she smells her poop :)

3 years of rearing my baby and generating fellow-feeling has not gone in vain, and I'm truly happy!